Shivering only by the thoughts of my lies
A secret only that person knows, trying
To forget and move on, too many cries
In my head, feeling of guild, crying
I feel torn, because I can’t dare to tell you
The lies I live in, the torture in my head
It would break our heart, soul, to be true
Afraid to make you angry, hate me, sad
I don’t know who to blame, but it is my fault
Feeling the pain when I think of the raper, friend
The loss of someone dear, inhabitant of my vault
Of secrets, both raper and victim, both Hell’s sent
The fear that rules my mind, makes me unable to
Speak, sinner’s lies have to be broken, to forgive
Myself and him, but I can’t dare to speak to you
So let someone else speak, other than my knife
The way he hurt me, blaming me for his sin
Yet I didn’t had the strength to fight
While he raped me, he knew he would win
He took away my soul, final piece of light
He took the only thing that was still pure
My untouched soul, virgin silver light
For this illness, infection there is no cure
Nothing left for my angel, wings coloured white
I want to hate you but I can’t, I even grieve
For the lost of my friend, but the pain you
Gave, betrayal, pain, betrayal, deceive
I hate myself and I wish I hated you too