Well I was right
He couldn’t take it, everything has changed, never to be okay again
They no longer have the daughter they’d expected
And I am waiting, for the time when
When will I get the opportunity to make it right
End this endless circle of pain
Will it be this weekend, take an overdose
Of will it be another time, slitting to deep into a vain
Well, I don’t care, I just want to do it quick
I hate this situation I brought upon everyone
And I hate it, hate myself and everything I do or cannot anyone
and most of all, I hate this person that I’ve become
When will I get the chance
When will I bring up the courage to finally pull through
Just do where I’ve been waiting for so long
End it, kill myself, that’s what I want to do
Now is as good a time as any
No need to hide the real me any more
They will soon know the rest of the story
And I won’t be able to ignore
I will not be able to hide away
And being confronted with myself is just to hard
So will it be for my parents
So leaving this place will be very smart
It will prevent a lot of pain for everyone
And I will finally find some peace in my head
Because this whole situation
Makes me do things time will never forget
I have just given up
I don’t see a way out, I need help so bad
Which I can get, but will it be quick enough
And will it help? Or will these thoughts continue to drive me mad
I’m ready to make my choice
Once I made it, I won’t be able to change my mind
Or I’ll hold on and fight till I get some help
Or I’ll kill myself, searching for peace, hoping then I’ll find
My parent don’t know me, they now start to see
And I don’t want them to, I want to hide away
No one would like to see the one that I am
It’s better for everyone if I’ll just give up this fight, and don’t try to stay
I can’t do this, once they know in a couple of days
I won’t be able to hide behind my laugh
They’ll know, and they’ll be hurting
And for me it will be even more than tough
I just don’t know how long I’ll be able to hold on
I’m fighting for such a long time now
And everything is just getting worse, no sign of improvement
I just don’t see things getting better, there is no way how
People may say everything will be alright
But my faith has disappeared, along with my will to stay
I just cannot take anymore
Making me see no other way