Reality, illusion
The mirror shows me both, and I cannot tell
Which is real, and which is not
The difference between them doesn’t show well
For some it shows a girl
A happy smile upon her face
Laughing, talking and doing things
Looks like she really loves this place
A girl busy with her school
Studying hard, day in, day out
Telling stories about her day, her new classmates
They all think they know what her live is about
Happy, smiling, doing things she loves
She has friends, goes out, and is working really hard
Which is good, and which is what she should do
Because she can do anything, she is so smart
But this is an image, which the girl doesn’t see herself
Only a reflection of what the surroundings want to see
They believe this mask, the stories full of lies
Believing everything is okay, ‘cause that’s all they see
The mirror shows me a whole other side
And I believe what I see
Not the girl who is happy and smiling
But the one who is hiding, and doesn’t want to be
The girl that everyone expects to know
Hasn’t been around for quite some time
The mask, the pretending and the lies
Are all things I need, to keep up appearances that I’m fine
But the one staring back from the mirror
The one nobody is really able to see
Is a girl, unhappy and insecure
And that girl is the real me
Sitting on the floor, curled up into a corner
Red eyes from crying, all I want is to feel pain
A scissor laying there in a pool of blood
And fresh cuts on my body, feeling so much shame
Staring in the mirror, seeing all my scars
Hating my body, the fat, the person that I am these days
I just see a dark girl, who is not meant to be here
And who is wishing and looking for ways
A depressed girl, who is suicidal
And cuts herself every single day, an addiction it became
Dealing with an eating and personality disorder
Feeling not worthy, with nobody but herself to blame
One solution I see, to break the web of lies
For me to leave this world, for them to finally see
That the person they all thought to know
Just isn’t the real me
I’m done here, had enough of myself
Always thinking, cutting, crying but still pretending a smile
I want to deal with myself, and try to get better
But the so called help is taking a while
And I can’t do it alone
I just want to give into my thoughts, and end it all
Just going on like this is not working
Every day, I can see myself fall
And with no one around to pull me back up
Everyone I know who said they would help, ended up leaving me
I just feel so alone and hopeless
And I no longer see the use of trying to be