I can’t
Not any longer
No words left to explain
I’m not stronger
Every time I feel a bit better
Something happens to make it worse again
I can’t go on like this
Keep going back to where I was then
No use in trying
Feel like giving up right now
Just leave it, forget about me
I’ll make it worse for everyone anyhow
And she, well, doesn’t seem to care
She makes me feel ashamed to tell what’s on my mind
Like I brought it upon myself
Feeling guilty telling stuff, of any kind
Although they all say I could count on them
I feel betrayed, and ashamed to tell
I would rather keep it all inside
But that makes them disappointed, well
I don’t know anymore
Everything I do seems to be wrong
My mind is confusing me, full with too many things
I’m longing for it all to be gone
I wonder is anyone would notice
Or even really care when I decide to leave
With all the things I do wrong
I don’t think so, for me it would be a relieve
No need to be worried
No need to cry, to cut, to feel this pain
There is no one who’s able to help me
They are only good in making me feel insane
Ashamed of the person I’ve become
Only a disappointment to people I know
The girl, to dumb to be happy, to care
Stupid enough to cut, just to let her feelings go
Well, my thoughts are going numb
Cannot think straight any more
And I begin to wonder, why am I here
What am I doing this all for?
Wouldn’t it be easy
Just to take too many pills, and end it all
Wouldn’t be a burden to everyone anymore
They’d continue living, and wouldn’t see me fall
People tell me to see it all in a positive way
Telling me it’s a good thing to talk about it
Then why do feel like they treat me
Like I’m a crazy, pathetic girl, who is too stubborn to admit
And the only reason they talk to me
Is that they feel sorry for me, but don’t really care
I don’t want their sympathy, I just want friendship
People who listen to me, who are actually there
Do have this person, a boy, and I owe him a lot
Can always count on him, which is good to know
But I hate to tell him all my problems, while I see
That he can’t help me, but it does affect him so
Other people, who know all my stuff
Act like I’m sick, mental or insane
But I’m still the girl I was before
Only with some problems, I know, but still the same
The people who are not able to see
Are not really here to help me get through
They see it like their duty to help me
But don’t really care what I do
I’m not in a state to make decisions right now
My mind is not thinking straight
I just hope I can go on
And that I can wait
But there is so much going on
Too much to deal with for me
I need to take a break, to get away
But I can’t, I just can’t get up and flee
Although that is what I want
More than ever right now
I have to keep going, hold on and fight
And I will get through this, somehow