Hurt
Deep inside hidden in my shelf
One way to release to
That is to hurt myself
Grab the razorblade
Surrender to the feeling of it
Seeing my wrist bleed feels so good
One day it is them I’ll slit
Or take too many pills
Overdose, ‘till I no longer wake
Won’t have to feel this hurt
My own life I’ll take
I’ll say goodbye
No one saw it coming, didn’t let it show
That there’s too much
Too much, I can’t let it go
Scared, so fucking scared
Of losing the friends I made
Whom I love and care for
Don’t want to hurt them, but it’s too late
I already did that
Bu showing them I’m not strong
I can’t stop doing this
And I can’t tell them I’m holding on
They know I have a hard time right now
But can’t tell them how hard it really is
So tired that I prefer to leave
But can’t, not like this
No matter how much I’d rather die
I have to hold on
My friends, they mean so much to me
I’d only die if I had none
I don’t wanna hurt them too
By taking my own life
Caused too much trouble already
So I have no choice but to continue this strife
Which will be far from easy
Dealing with this disorder
Cutting and depression, but still act happy
Stupid mask, prevents people to look further
Only those friends close to me
Look behind it, and are helping me too
Though they don’t understand it all
They’re there for me, pulling me through
Glad to have these wonderful guys
Around me, feel blessed
Why then don’t I try to feel better
Why do I have to be this obsessed
About eating, and addicted to hurt myself
I hate it, why cant I just be
A normal girl, enjoying life
With these good people surrounding me
Sounds so easy, but in fact is really hard
Can’t just let go of the feeling
Have to deal with all my problems first
If I will ever want to be healing
Until that day
When I can be perfectly free
I’ll keep my head up high
And I’ll continue to be
Have to look at my life
In the bigger picture, in periods of time
This will only be a little period of hurt, but will pass
Followed by periods where I’ll feel just fine
With this thought in the back of my head
I know I’ll get through this phase
But it will never truly leave
My memories and scares will never erase