INTERNAL BATTLE

the shadow in my heart
wants to run and hide
to stay invisible, silent and nothing
far away from everything and everyone

I am afraid, so afraid
I feel energies
curling inside of me
like a tornado
a tornado of change
and that is exactly what I fear the most

I fear to step into the light
I never dared to,
so why would I dare now
what would make me deserve it
or deserve anything at all

but then I am also tired of the pain
the pain of always giving up my space,
my right to be
and my right to be me

the pain of a shadow
that wants to be a star
shining light into the darkness
in stead of being invisible in the darkness

but do I dare to shine
and how would they respond
would they accept me
but how could they accept me the way I am now
a shadow that isn't real

but then do I dare to become real
I have been invisible too long
I forgot to be visible and how to shine

but then I know that that is the way to go
I have to change
cause only change will bring back life to me
and can make me real
only then I can become the star I want to be

but only if I ever dare
until then I hide away in the shadow
being a shadow



Copyright © 3 January 2006