It’s like you’ve finally escaped from the darkest and deepest place you’ve ever been and then get lost. And the only roads you find are all leading back to the same dark place. At that point you suddenly realise that there’s never been another place to go and that you’ve gone trough this before. But this time you can’t crawl back. The gates are closed now and you’re stuck in a place you don’t know, where no one will ever find you. The only one who could save you is the one you’ve hurt so much, that he’ll never do that again.