It isn't easy at all,
to change your mind.
It is hard to kill the bitch inside,
and be the perfect daughter and friend.
when I'm angry inside,
I just wanna fight.
Wanna scream louder and louder,
I just can't stop, can't help it.
I didn't choose for so much hate inside,
Didn't choose to be the hard girl,
to be heartless to everyone.
Believe me I wanna change,
I really want to.
I'm not who I wanna be,
I know that it´s wrong,
But I learned to be like this.
To be a person who is not even thinking about life,
don't want to worry anymore.
Living in a fantasy world,
Cause it's so much easier,
There I can leave my feelings for a while.
Just walk away from the real world,
It's so wrong to act like everything is going welll.
Thinking about the shit hole day long,
I can't take it any longer,
so I have to act like I'm strong.
I have to choose for my own,
I know that it isn't allways easy to be with me....
But you have to understand,
I don't wanna hurt,
but when the angry in me comes alive,
I don't give a fuck about it all.
Don't want to be a girl like that,
shame on me that I can be so bad.
Believe me I will change,
but I don't wanna break again.
Afraid for the pain,
Don't want to feel me like a victim.
I don't want to act anymore,
I just want to be the happy girl,
I should have be,
Just wanna live in the real world,
Feel me like I'm fake,
when I'm walking arround,
doing like I´m so good and strong,
I hate it, but can´t change it,
Somethimes I really think I'm changed,
but I know it isn't.
I know I promised it,
but I don't even know who I am anymore.
I never felt like normal,
I'm really really happy,
or I'm really really sad.
Make myself crazy with so much feelings.
Don't know what to do,
it's makin' me affraid to show myself a little more.
Don't want to be early to everyone,
People can break me on my weak days.
There is someone who makes me die inside,
I can't help it and I can't fight for it.
I can't run away for it,
It's to strong.
Believe me I really wanna be the good girl,
then I hope people can be proud,
to see I'm more then just a heartless bitch,
hope people see that I´m fighting everyday,
but I don´t know how to win.
In my dreams I can't walk away,
affraid to sleep,
scared to hurt again.
I don't want to feel this longer,
Just want to forget it all.
Just want to be the normal girl.
I really want you see I'm really trying,
to stop, and thinking about the next staps.
But please give me some time,
I know for sure that I can do it.
I know I can,
please believe me,
and give me a change.
Every step I take,
I feel how weak I am,
Feeling so stupid,
Making every day the same mistake,
No one can´t understand,
That is why I have to fight on my own,
But it is like I´m dying everyday a little bit more,
Hoping every day that I´m strong enough to fight again,
But scared that I can´t,
I know I give up some time,