Damn, I hate feeling like this
Thoughts are blowing through my mind
Cannot concentrate on a thing
To other things I am blind
I am trying to continue
As usual, busy with everything,
Go to school, make my homework
Clean my room, you know, the daily routine
But I am not able to
And that is making me mad
Have too much going on in my life
Too much thoughts occupying my head
Have an important test tomorrow
And I had a whole week to study for it
But I just couldn’t make myself learn
It just doesn’t seem to be important, not even a bit
I don’t care if I fail that test
School isn’t a priority any more
Comparing this to a few months earlier
That’s quite a change, not the same as before
I used to be this girl
Busy with school every our of the day
Now I don’t even know what we’re doing in school
And I don’t care, school is just a getaway
A getaway, just to not be at home
Home is not the place I want to be
I can only think about bad things
And that’s not good for me
So when I leave this place
And I’m surrounded by people that care
My mind in temporarily at peace
But not free, can’t be that anywhere
I am always busy in my mind
Continuing thoughts about food, calories or worse
Thinking about cutting, just to see blood
And then afterwards feel the remorse
There is no room in my mind
For unimportant things such as school or grades
I’m just trying to survive
To keep myself from grapping the blades
Because everything is so difficult right now
I just want to find a way out
And I don’t care which way that will be
Through talking, cutting or to shout
My mind is too busy
Dealing with too many emotions every day
I just can’t simple learn for some stupid test
First have to stay alive, make it through today
So I’m sorry if I seem distant
I hate it just as much as you
I just want to be the girl you once knew
Happy, smiling, caring and who really means it too