Laughing, joking
Always doing things, having a drive
Looking at all the beautiful things
This has never been my true life

The mask, it isn’t working
It used to, but not anymore
Too much has happened
It will never be as before

I used to hide my true self
Was able to put up a smile
When I really was crying inside
An no one notices, and it worked for a while

For years actually
And it became a second me
The one everybody thought they knew
But they all couldn’t see

The person I pretend to be
The one which always has a smile on her face
Is falling down, and the mask is broken
It’s the end of a long fake phase

The real me is starting to show
I can’t no longer hide behind this one
Because I’m to tired to continue
And soon I will be gone

People notice the change in me
I no longer laugh or show I care
I really wish I could
But it’s more that I can bare

And I’m tired of trying
To pretend I’m fine or okay
What’s the use if they already see
That I’m ready to run away

But still the mask I made
Is there, it’s not easy to put it down
Still smiling even though I’m crying
I think I’m still smiling when I drown

Annoying little mask
Hiding me for all these years
So that people would never see
That these eyes are filled with tears

No one knew that I were not okay
They only saw a happy me
Not knowing I really was down
And that I didn’t want to be

I don’t regret I didn’t show
Then I would be where I am right now
Hurting people by the one I really am
I don’t mean to do that, but I still do somehow

They expect me to be more positive
They still can’t see the real me
Wanting me to smile, to breathe every day
And this mask is what keeping them from making them see

But do I mind? No, I think I don’t
Why let them understand so that they are seeing
What I really am thinking, doing
And that I am tired of waiting, living and being

They already care too much
Its destroying them as well
So what’s the use if they understand
There will be more pain, beside of that what I tell

And I don’t want to cause pain
I’m not worth their concern
They have their own lives to live
They will notice I’m gone when I don’t return

But they won’t be there in time
So save me, I will take care of that
They will be hurt, but it’s the best thing to do
And in time they will forget