I stand behind the curtain
My hands already aching
I can’t seem to find that peace
My body is craving
I feel the fear slowly coming over me
My body starts to tremble
Reason I cannot see
Please, do not ask me how I am
I do not dare to say a word
A sound might come out
But my voice cannot be heard
I can feel the tears
Slowly creeping up behind my eyes
I try to hold them back
But the floods already start to rise
This world stops making sense
My body has never been this tense
I know I cannot stop it now
I have to let go, face it somehow
The heart has its reasons
Which reason does not know
But why does my heart insist
On making me feel this low?
I am not blind
But my heart might as well be
The reality in my mind
My heart fails to see
If I had a mirror
The only thing I’d be able to see
Would be a failure
And that failure would be me
I am my own worst nightmare
For fear
Feeds itself on my despair
If only my heart could see
What my mind keeps telling me
That there’s no reason to be afraid
But the realisation always comes too late
And so another day passes by
And all I can do is try
Try to make sense of it all
Try to stand tall
But most all, try not to fall