Thought I lost somehow
I’m still frightened by the corrupted ways of being treated
All the conflicts, the craziness and the sound of pretenses
Why am I so petrified of silence
While I have no other concept of the time ,
while I’m having busy thoughts
And I still want it all settled in a way to let it all untied
You didn’t wait for all the information
And you’ve chosen to refused my explanation
Just don’t be surprised if I love you for all that you are
And I don’t want to dissict it all the time
All I really want is some patience some silent moment’s to deliberate
A way to calm the angry voice, which is not allowed and so uninvited
But I don’t need to talk to somebody
I was just hoping..
You’d rescue me, exact in the same way they never did
These precious illusions in my head didn’t let me down
when I was defenseless end hopeless
But this won’t work as well as the way it once did,
and even though you wouldn’t
Because I chose to decide between survival and bliss
So this is like a moment you were banished
and you wonder why you’re so hypersensitive
It was much harder those moments of silently suffering
I walked sometimes confused, sometimes ready to crack open wide
But you’re wise you’re warm you’re courageous
And I love you more now than I ever have my whole life
But how can you say you’re close to me
and yet you talk behind my back as though I am not a part of you
Why do I say I’m fine when it’s obvious I’m not
And the fact it’s so hard to tell you because you can’t just read my mind
Why do I fear that the quieter I am the less you will listen
And do I care whether you like me or not,
while I live by the moments I cannot
Why am I encouraged to shut my mouth when it get’s too close
Did you forget about me, I’m not quite as well,
I thought you should know
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it,
let me know you sometimes think of me, even when I’m not around
Cause I too, thought that when proved wrong, I lost somehow