Dear God
What have I done?
I do not deserve this
But still you torture my soul
Cruelty is everywhere in this world
I can’t stand anymore of this
You kill me from within
Consumed by pain I am
Why do I keep on going?
No longer I can cry
Emotions destroyed
Feeling less I am
Overwhelmed by it all
Yet I take on another burden
Listening to another problem
Helping the other of its pain
Why do I take all this on
Why can’t I be hurt anymore?
Even though I consist only of pain
Did I reach the limit?
I do not wish to live on
Abandoning all, leaving all behind
My pain, my troubles, the cruelty
Nooooo, why do I even think like this?
I can’t leave like this, I am no coward
My well-deserved suicide denied
I can’t run from it, the others still live
What would happen to them if I die?
My burden passed on to others
They are unable to deal with it
I must live in pain for the happiness of others
But why, why am I the chosen one
God, why did you give me this gift?
Couldn’t you have sent an angel?
An angel to take my place
Taking away my problems my pain
No human deserves to live like this
I look within myself still only pain
No one cares about me no one sees me
Until they have a problem
Visible I am then listening to it all
Still blinded to see my pain
They can’t help it
They don’t know me any other way
If they knew they wouldn’t understand anyway
But I, I look deep into their eye
Through every shield
They can’t hide it from me
I see what they don’t want me to see
But also what they themselves do not see
When they look into a mirror they see a reflection
A reflection of themselves of how they look
I know better though, I know to look through that image
And when I look into that same mirror only pain is there to see
Reflecting a wretched tortured soul
Empty of every other meaning
Bringing happiness to others just to receive pain
Hoping that one day their happiness will make me happy
And then realise what I have done for them
The suffering that I have gone through just for them